All Star Wars Movies Ranked

Each Star Wars movie picture will be a meme from that movie - since Star Wars memes are the backbone of the internet's source of humor.

#11 - The Phantom Menace

I was too young to remember when this film came out, but I hear the hype was so huge that it made Avengers: Endgame seem like an indie flick. The world demanded George Lucas give them a new trilogy, and they got...well...something that is generously called a movie. This movie is still my least watched of all the Star Wars movies. I saw it once all the way through (fairly recently actually) and it was almost completely unwatchable. It tried to appeal to adults with boring trade federation/intergalactic politics and it tried to appeal to children with cartoonishly bad characters (Jar-Jar Binks was a crime against humanity) and thought the world wanted to meet Anakin Skywalker for the first time as a whiny six-year-old. Literally, the only redeeming part of this movie is what could be the best lightsaber duel at the end with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fighting Darth Maul, one of the most badass villains in Star Wars (also bonus points for the music - duel of the fates by John Williams is an all-time movie classic).

#10 - Attack of the Clones

I'll start off and say that this movie will always have a special place in my heart for appealing to my inner 6-year-old by having grand action-packed battles with lightsabers and disposable CGI armies. Mainly, because I could easily reenact them all by smashing all my action figures together - a frequent activity of my youth.

Flat out, the only reason it's not the worst is because it's definitely more exciting than The Phantom Menace. However, the dialogue is just as (if not sometimes worse) than episode I. Anakin was too young and innocent in episode I? Let's jump to the next worse stage of life - the bratty teenager stage - and have him go on an unhinged murder rampage and kill women and children. Also...Anakin and Pademe...the cringiest couple since the two weird kids in high school who would snuggle in the middle of the cafeteria. And the sand...oh the rough and course sand...how it gets everywhere. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's one of the many moments from this movie that make up it's most redeeming quality - the memes.

#9 - The Rise of Skywalker

I did a whole rant post on this website - you can go to my previous posts see my thoughts in full. To sum up - this movie represents everything I hate about franchises that try to appeal to everyone and thus please none of them. They wasted Finn's character. The Knights of Ren went out like total punks after hyping them up as master badasses. Rey and Kylo Ren kissing made me wince in pain. Rey being Palpatine's granddaughter made me audibly grunt. Coolest part for me was Rey's yellow lightsaber at the end because...hey...that's something new.

#8 - The Last Jedi

You can hate the The Last Jedi all you want - you have that right as a Star Wars fan - but you cannot deny the balls it had. I was excited for this movie because I was hoping it would do what I've been begging star wars to do since I first became a young fan - give us some moral grey area in a franchise with the most obvious good and bad guys ever. I can't deny that it took chances...and though next to none of them paid off...it was the first time Star Wars deviated from it's incredibly generic formula. Once I finished appreciating that one awesome scene when the rebel ship goes hyperspeed through the First Order Starships and when Rey and Kylo teamed up against the red guards, I started hating on all the decisions Rian Johnson made with this film. The Finn and Rose storyline - it had no purpose at all - they should have let Finn sacrifice himself at the end, it would have been a much better ending for his character but god forbid we kill anyone permanently in a Star Wars film. Leia going full Mary Poppins and floating through space like a god - ridiculous.

This movie...it had...so much potential. However, I did not hate it as much as the internet told me to hate it.

#7 - Return of the Jedi

Okay now that we've gotten through the movies I'd consider bad...we can move on to the 7 star wars movies that I consistently enjoy every time I watch them. Beginning with the last movie of the original trilogy. Was it bad? Not at all. Was it the best? Not at all. It got the job done and beautifully rounded out one of the most iconic trilogies in human history. In retrospect the Ewoks were adorable and funny, but now they are just flat out ridiculous. I mean, little teddy bears throwing rocks and arrows at stormtrooper armor meant to protect against blasters, and they drop like flies. I mean any competent stormtrooper could punt one of those bastards 30+ yards if they wanted to. Also they wasted Boba Fett (the most badass character with the least amount of screentime) by having him go out like a character in Tom & Jerry. Regardless of the silly third act, it was a great addition to the trilogy and I'll continue to watch it until the end of time.

#6 - Solo: A Star Wars Story

Here it is - my most controversial opinion to date. Some might call me a hypocrite and say, "You can't say we're incapable of joy for hating Solo when you can't see past all the flaws of The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker."

Listen here, nerds.

The sequel trilogy had no direction and enough dangling plot threads to weave a blanket - a big no-no in my book. Solo was legitimately a good stand-alone movie, y'all are just mad because this movie is a prime example of "too much of a good thing". Poor Alden Ehrenreich was left with the thankless job of portraying a young version of one of Hollywood's most beloved characters. People were also hot off the hate train from the recent release of The Last Jedi.

But in reality, watching this movie for what it is...a movie...rewarded me with a very enjoyable time in the theater. The plot was pretty well-laid out, the side characters had more depth than most prequel trilogy main characters, Donald Glover was PERFECT as young Lando Calrissian, and the stories of how Han and Chewy became friends and how Han and Lando became frenemies were actually very heartfelt and made a lot of sense. The action was great and the dialogue was miles better than previous Star Wars movies. Were there dumb moments? Of course, nobody asked for half the Easter eggs they crammed into this movie. However, it was a damn fun movie when you watch it as a standalone film. I'm willing to debate further - hit my line.

#5 - Revenge of the Sith

Another opinion that some might consider controversial - and I totally understand why - but I am going to lay out why I personally enjoy this movie more than I probably should.

This was the first Star Wars movie I actually saw in theaters. The prequels were a messy set of CGI-filled slug fests, but it lead us here and I have to say it narrowly stuck the landing for me. We finally had some interesting character development with Anakin and how he became Darth Vader, General Grevious was one of the coolest new additions to the arsenal of quick-to-die villains, and the battle at the end between Anakin and Obi-Wan....to my young self....was one of the most intense and heartbreaking moments I had ever witnessed in theaters. I can still quote the second half of the movie because I've seen it so many times. Is some of the writing white, hot garbage? Duh, it's still apart of the prequels, but it managed to not totally suck and gave Star Wars some of its darkest and most heartbreaking moments since The Empire Strikes Back.

#4 - The Force Awakens

Plain and Simple, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie and you did too. Did it take us awhile to get over the honeymoon phase after watching this to realize it was almost a shot-for-shot remake of A New Hope? You're goddamn right. Remember the hype leading up to this movie? Ah the sense of pure childlike joy I had. This movie was a joy to watch. It was a welcome revisit to the familiar galaxy after a drought of original (oops) Star Wars material. Did they remake A New Hope? Yes. Did they take many chances in terms of plot? Nope. Did they introduce exciting new characters and set the stage for a promising new trilogy? Hell yeah! Remember how mysterious Snoke was? How promising Rey's potential was? How fascinating Finn's character background was? How cool Poe Dameron was? Remember guys? Remember that unsoiled hope we had? *sigh* I'm sad now.

#3 - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

By far the most money any studio has spent in order to fill a plot hole - but not just any plot hole - one of the biggest in movie history. Why was it so damn easy to blow up the Death Star? It's simple...well...simple enough to make a movie out of it. A damn good movie at that.

Sometimes Star Wars can get carried away with the fiction part of science fiction. Space wizards with laser swords and mumbo-jumbo about the force can turn off many newcomers to the franchise...and I'll admit I get tired of it too. This movie has no time for pesky Jedi and laser swords...it's by far the most grounded and realistic of all the Star Wars movies and it was just what the doctor ordered. The characters were good enough to keep the plot going but the action and setting was so amazing it made lifelong fans grab their less-enthusiastic friends by the arm as they pointed out every reference made. I can't wrap this review up without mentioning the scene. You know the scene. The most badass-awesome Star Wars scene of all time. The scene that finally showed that one of the most threatening villains of all time had the bite to back up the bark. This movie was fan-service done right.

#2 - Star Wars (A New Hope)

The movie that did so well that it had to change the name because this shit was about to milked for eternity and we were okay with that.

The movie that started it all. I can only imagine the reaction that people had to this in theaters in 1977. Even now the movie still holds up incredibly well. The introductions to all the characters were just *chef kiss*. The grounded and relatable Luke wanting more than just a life of a farmer. The charming rogue Han Solo establishing the characterization of "a han-solo-type". Princess Leia being the best movie heroine since Ripley from the Alien movies. Darth Vader being one of the most intimidating villains of all time. It was amazing, and follows a perfect character arc for most of the protagonists. What else can I say? This movie's ripples caused one of the greatest rifts in American culture.

#1 - The Empire Strikes Back

You all knew. You knew, and you read all the way through anyways (thanks for the support, I have fun writing these). There's no doubt that the Star Wars fanbase is one of the most polarized fanbases rivaling that of actual American politics. Rarely will you find a fan with the same list of favorite Star Wars movies...but without a doubt, the most consistent number-one entry has always been The Empire Strikes Back. It's so iconic that it became the go-to shorthand that's used anytime a franchise makes a sequel that's even a little bit darker than the original (Toy Story 2 was the Empire Strikes Back of the Toy Story franchise).

The movie floored me as a kid. I was like, "Oh a space adventure...sweet! I'm sure everyone will be okay and the good guys will win again!" You naive pleb! I was instead met with the rebel alliance going from blowing up the death star to getting their asses handed to them by giant robot camels, my favorite character getting frozen alive which, to kid Lee, was basically him dying, and experiencing the biggest plot twist of all time. I don't remember how surprised I was...but I can't imagine how the world felt in 1980 when they found out Darth Vader was Luke's father because the A New Hope does absolutely nothing to set that up.

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this film. I find it hard to even nitpick it. Long have I waited for Star Wars to get even close to the magic and prestige of The Empire Strikes Back, but until then...The Mandalorian is satisfying me just fine. Give me Season 2 damn it!