Opinions I've Archieved Over The Years

I have a very cluttered mind, so it should come as no surprise that I've cataloged various movie/television opinions over the past few years in case I ever wanted to write about them. There is absolutely no way I could get to all of them, so I'll quickly rattle off some of my favorites. Speed round, everyone. Buckle up.

Game of Thrones's fall from grace is honestly impressive

There was a time when Game of Thrones was at the forefront of every social media during every Sunday airing. Memes formed simultaneously as the episodes progressed, the entire world live tweeted reactions, and even famous celebrities had their own viewing parties. It was the pinnacle of television and pop culture at its peak...and now...a little over a year later...we don't even discuss it. It disappeared, without a trace, leaving hundreds of millions of people with bad tastes in their mouths.

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, the showrunners, did the improbable...nay...the impossible. You fumbled the bag, my friends. You fumbled a bag that was quite literally attached to your arms. I can't help but think they did it on purpose, because how could you fail to reach anyone's expectations. You even left a coffee cup from Starbucks in a major scene, which makes me think ya'll finished filming and didn't even double check your work, like a kid with senioritis who just wants a passing grade. Well guess what? You failed with flying colors - see you in summer school.

Don't be fooled by its title, fellas - New Girl is one of the funniest shows out there

It's easy to turn a blind eye to New Girl, especially if you're a guy who refuses to watch anything that might be considered "girly". I get it, I thought it wasn't worth my time despite countless recommendations (all from girls). Then my roommate told me he watched it and that it was hilarious, to which I met with mockery. I was a fool, a classless fool.

This show is genuinely hilarious. The writing is incredible and the characters are very developed. I can see myself and my friends in each character, and the show manages to keep them grounded in reality despite being caricatures of themselves. We all know someone who is full of themselves like Schmidt, quirky like Jess, a mess like Nick, and odd like Winston. The show doesn't have grandiose stakes and extreme plot lines, so it makes for an incredibly easy watch that offers frequent laughs. It's something I sorely needed in these trying times.

The comedic genius of Drake and Josh has transcended decades

If you're from my generation, you probably watched Drake and Josh when you were in late elementary school and fondly remember watching it after school while eating your after-school snack. But have you watched it on Hulu recently? It holds up surprisingly well. I mean when Drake asks Josh when his lobster dinner will be ready and Josh answers, "I do not control the speed in which lobsters die," I still laugh. That's just great writing.

What's even weirder is that there are only 4 seasons. I honesty thought the show went on during my entire childhood, but I realized I had just watched the same handful of reruns everyday after school and never complained - because this show was the pinnacle of clean comedy. In a time when kids shows are just tik tok dancing and dumb pranks that are drowned in pre-recorded laugh tracks, do your child a favor and show them Drake and Josh instead. It's our only chance to save the future generations' senses of humor.

I didn't like La La Land that much - there I said it

Don't get me wrong, the soundtrack absolutely slaps. But I could never get behind the love story, or the plot in general for that matter. To me, this is the prime example of Hollywood being obsessed with themselves. This is the movie version of the Oscars - Hollywood just patting themselves on the back. It's an ode to old school Hollywood, which let's be honest, people get nostalgic about for no good reason.

"Ugh, look how beautiful everything is, take me back," says the internet. This is supposed to be the 40's/50's, so no you probably don't.

Disney Plus is holding me hostage and I'm letting them

I was very excited when Disney announced the launch of their own streaming service, I mean think of all the IP they own! Marvel! Pixar! Star Wars! So much of my favorite franchises available to me at the touch of a button, and yet I've opened the app on my Roku TV once over quarantine. ONCE.

What I overestimated was the rewatchablility of all of Disney's IP. I've already seen Marvel movies enough times, I might rewatch all of Star Wars every few years or so, and maybe one day I'll show my kids all the Pixar movies, but until then I don't exactly throw on Toy Story when the boys come over.

Yet, I'm still paying for it. Why? Because of The Mandalorian and the new upcoming Marvel Shows. They are all supposed to be releasing over the course of the next few months, and I need it now. Disney Plus has me by the childhood right now and I'm not resisting as much as I probably should be.

Remember how terrible superhero movies used to be?

Before Marvel perfected the superhero formula and turned it into the mitochondria of Hollywood, superhero movies were the punchline of the movie industry. Believe it or not, comic-book movies were, at one point, made in order to *scoffs* sell more comic books. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and the Guardians of the Galaxy were actually not the most popular characters in the Marvel Universe, they were just all they had to work with since they sold their most popular characters to keep from bankruptcy (Spider-Man to Sony, X-Men to Fox).

Remember the original Daredevil movie with Ben Affleck? Of course you don't, it was white hot garbage. Remember Catwoman with Halle Berry? I hope not, because I think it holds the record for the most Razzie awards ever (Razzies are the Oscars but for terrible movies). It was actually Sam Remy's first Spider-Man trilogy that introduced the idea of superhero movies not being totally and completely terrible. It's been a long journey hasn't it?

The Lord of the Rings shaped my love for movies

My dad showed me the Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was pretty young, like barely started kindergarten young. This created two obsessions, one brief childhood obsession with swords, and one lifelong obsession with the magic of movies.

I owned all three LOTR movies on DVD and would play them on repeat during long car-rides. Hell, I even memorized the time-stamps where my favorite scenes were. Everything about it captivated me - the fantasy world, the set design, the action, the music, the characters - I was appreciating cinematography before I even knew what cinematography was.

To this day, it stands as my favorite trilogy of all time, and to this day I continue an annual tradition of watching all three uncut, extended versions in a row - taking a total of almost 10 hours to fully complete. To me, it's the epitome of what makes movies great, and it was introduced to me when the word "movie" was on my spelling tests.

Would Tiger King be as successful without Coronavirus condemning America to their televisions?

Think about it, this documentary/quasi-reality tv show was the definition of perfect timing. Would it have captured the hearts and souls of America if it came out a month prior or a month after? Personally, I think it would not have. I think the internet's lack of distractions caused it to inflate the hype bubble to such epic proportions that the entire American public said, "Eh, I'll give it a shot because I have literally nothing else to do." Some conspiracy theories could come out of this - what if Joe Exotic started the Coronavirus to escalate the release of his show? I know, I know that's ridiculous. It was 100% that murderer Carol Baskin.